he was watching children carefree at their games and contrasting their happiness with the troubles that would come with their adult life.
Alas! regardless of their doom
The little victims play!
No sense have they of ills to come
Nor care beyond to-day.
The joy of youth, if you come from a home that can provide for your basic needs, lies in the sense that anything is possible. I can choose any way of life and the most wonderful spouse in the world. I live in the ideal world of my dreams and I can see myself in the future as happy, successful and prosperous.
Secretly, of course, I know that the real world is unlikely to match my dreams and I will have to accept the limitations when they come. The difficulty is that there are two sets of limitations; those that are imposed on me which I cannot do anything about – the actual person I marry, the actual job that I have – and those that, when they arise, I can change.
The early days of marriage may be wonderful and filled with exciting discoveries. I may lament the end of my freedom to do as I please but it is well compensated by the joy of sharing life, of loving and being loved. Then, at some stage, a new realisation comes. Not everything about the one I have chosen to live my life with is perfect. He or she has irritating habits that test my patience. Over time little crises can become one big crisis. Then what do I do? Two ways lie open before me.
I can show my annoyance by becoming noisily aggressive or being silently uncooperative. I am fighting for some supposed sense of my own well-being and self-respect. But I may also be starting out on a path that leads to divorce.
The other way, the way that the gospels speak of on every page, is the way of renunciation. In the familiar words it is the way of losing myself so that I may find myself. It is the way of facing a crisis when it arises and resolutely working through it. I love the passage when that word appears in Luke (9:51), he resolutely turned his face towards Jerusalem. Jesus must have had thoughts of running away, avoiding what he knew lay ahead. It must have been awful to set out on that last journey. But he did it. And so it is for anyone facing a crisis. How I wish it would just go away. But it doesnt. And I too have a choice. To face the crisis will lead to the strengthening of my marriage, success in my job and confidence in myself. To run away will lead to the opposite in all three.
Post published in: Opinions