I find this quite ridiculous at times, and I refuse to ask my wifes younger brothers how they are. I am much older than they are and so they should ask me how I am, not the other way round. I do not mind asking my wifes elder brothers who are also older than I am how they are. But the younger ones should give me more respect than I have to give to them.
In good families, the brothers-in-law can very easily become close friends as they will love to do things together from time to time. A good wife will always encourage her husband to spend quality time with her brothers so that they can get to know each other better. A good husband will seek opportunities to discuss pertinent issues with his brothers-in-law as often as possible.
Matters pertaining to your wifes brothers and how they live or the situations they face should be of tremendous interest to their sisters husband. That way, close family relationships can be built among the brothers-in-law. I think it is unfortunate when my wifes brother seeks opportunities to discuss his family matters only with his sister and not with me. In some cases, it is my wife who will eventually tell me what is going on in her brothers family.
This is quite a shame since we are now one family. My brother-in-law should be at liberty to share with me all matters that he would want to share with my wife. There should never be any hindrance or obstacle between us. In other words, there should not be any family secrets that I should not be aware of on either side of the extended family.
Man to man, brothers-in-law can better understand how to love their wives. My own brothers-in-law have often told me that they have learnt a lot from me regarding how to relate with their wives. I have also benefited from some of their personal experiences in family matters. Because I relate so closely and so friendly with them, I find it easier to treat my wife well and with due respect.
I would be devastated to hear that my wife has secretly told her brother that I have mistreated her in any way. I have often taken some of my brothers-in-law to task whenever I have felt that they were less than cordial or respectful in the manner that they have dealt with their wives. I know that some traditionalists will argue that a mukuwasha has no business advising his atezvara regarding his wife, but I disagree. If my wifes brother treats his wife in a bad way I will tackle him myself; I will not wait for his sister to do the job.
Brothers-in-law can be highly constructive in each others lives. I have often engaged my wifes brothers in various income-generating projects and supported their efforts. I have roped them into my own such projects, and they have often participated with the right spirit; the spirit that says, This is our project. The success of whatever I do should be shared with members of my family, including my brothers-in-law and their families. Marriage can easily be one big ball game, but everyone must be free to play.
Post published in: Opinions