She wants me back

Dear Gracey
I was married and I divorced my wife after she fell in love with my closest friend who later married someone and left her. She is now struggling because she has no source of income, she sometimes asks me for help and she now wants me back. What should I do? - Anonymous

Dear Anon

People do wrong and everyone is liable to making mistakes but we all differ in how we later look back at our wrongdoings, know that was a mistake and learn from it.

Your ex-wife certainly made a fatal mistake that placed your marriage on the rocks, but getting back together after a divorce or separation depends on the willingness of both parties hearts. Does she genuinely want you back because she regrets what she did and realizes you are the man for her – or is she left with no choice after being dumped by your friend?

That is one big question you need to ask yourself and find the answer before getting back together to avoid another possible heartbreak. As part of her reason of coming back to you, she needs to realize that you love her and learn to reciprocate with respect and honesty. She should not see you as her only choice for financial support.

The power of forgiveness comes from the heart. If you feel you have forgiven her with all your heart and she is genuine in her apology, then there will not be anything wrong with you taking her back. God Bless. – Gracey

He wont take my calls

Dear Gracey

I am so confused. I have been dating my man for 16 months now, he borrowed from me so many things and promised to return and he never did. He is now rejecting my calls whenever I try to call him and what worries me more is that Im six months pregnant. Im so depressed. – Nelly

Dear Nelly

I am sorry for what your boyfriend is putting you through. Of course you know him better, but this man seems to be a crook to me.

First he borrows these many things you didnt mention and promises to return, which never did. Now he avoids you at a time any man would naturally be so close to his woman as the unborn child creates a special bond in the family.

But after 16months of dating Im sure you know where to find him without necessarily calling him first. Go there and sit down with him, get the truth out of him. Is he still interested in you and what are his plans for the future especially with the baby just three months away from being part of your lives?

Whatever the outcome of the talks will be please try to stay positive and smile for the sake of your baby. It is not healthy for you to stay depressed always during your pregnancy. You have something special to smile for more than worry over a man who does not know the precious gift he is throwing away.

So, worry less about the past and present misfortunes and smile more for the blessings that awaits you because God loves you. – Gracey

Small house problems

Dear Gracey

I am a woman aged 26. My problem is that my husband spends all his salary for his small house and their one kid. He leaves me and the children alone with no food. I have two kids with him and I also live with his other three kids from another marriage. I am really thinking of leaving him; I have just run out of ideas please help. – Neglected Wife

Dear Neglected Wife

I understand how painful all this has been to you and how you have probably tried to hang on thinking things will change. But have you tried talking to him?

There is nothing wrong with him being responsible for his kid or his other family. But neglecting you with five kids is just not fair. It certainly leaves you as the baby sitter in all this. But leaving him without trying to make things work or fight for your marriage will make you a quitter.

There are some unreasonable things that men do out of love well some women included – and it is in womens nature and the general societal expectations that women will hang on strong, fight for their marriage and be their husbands sixth sense in difficult times.

You can be the only one to knock sense into his head and win him back. Of course there are times women give up on their marriage – no love is worth dying, hurting, starving or crying for. But the first step is always to stand strong and fight for what is right.

You certainly do not deserve that treatment and while Im urging you to voice your concerns and plan the way forward with him, I will not hesitate to be the first one to encourage you to walk out of the marriage. I pray that he will see how a great a person you are in accepting his other kids and appreciate you as a loving wife soonest. – Gracey

Is he cheating?

Dear Gracey

I am a 19-year-old mother of one. My husband is very strict with his phone, he even goes to bath with it. He answers and make some calls outside while other calls are simply rejected. I dont really understand him. Do you think he is cheating? – Troubled

Dear Troubled

If that was my husband doing that, I would certainly suspect he is planning a big time surprise party for me and not that he is cheating because I know the kind of man he is. I use his phone like it is mine, read his text messages, answer his phone calls and he is free to do the same with mine.

My point is, you married your man after some time of dating, I assume by now you know him well to believe or dismiss any rumours of him cheating. There are only two ways to this, either he is cheating or there is something innocent he just prefers you stay out of it.

But marriage should not be embraced by secrets, tell him what is worrying you his strict guarding of his phone and all his other funny behaviour – and have him explain it to you. Speculating will have you stressing over imaginative things, which may be far from his mind.

You may be surprised that he may be unaware he is doing that or it is just a thing with him to have his phone wherever he is. Im also one person who goes to bath with my phone and if anyone is to ask why I will simply tell her why it is called a mobile phone, I have been doing that all my life well at least since I owned one.

So stop stressing, talk to your husband and make sure when you do so, you do it politely. – Gracey

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