Media reports indicate that there is increasing abuse of children in Zimbabwe. Reports of adult m n sodomising little boys have become quite common. Reports of some men raping little girls well below the age of 16 abound. One of the saddest features of some of these abuses is that the perpetrators are often close relatives on whom the children are dependent for protection.
Imagine a father raping his own daughter several times and subsequently making her pregnant or infecting her with a sexually transmitted disease. This is humanly unforgiveable. Studies have demonstrated that children who have been subjected to abuse tend to have serious personality problems later in life. Girls who have been exposed to sexual abuse when they were under-age tend to experience all kinds of marital problems stemming from the abuse. When we do pre-marital counselling we often ask the engaged couple whether they have had any experiences of sexual or other forms of abuse. It is amazing how many indicate that they did.
During our counselling, we advise them to forgive those who abused them as this is the only way they can get over the problem, and so that their own marriage will not be hindered by some of the consequences of that abuse. We have also found that lack of forgiveness for wrongs done to oneself is a major obstacle to Gods blessings. We now urge all the people that we counsel to forgive the perpetrators at whose hands they suffered – so that they can be blessed in their marriages as well as in their families.
Indeed, people have sometimes failed to get healed of certain diseases simply because they would not forgive those who had wronged them. Because they bear such deep grudges against others, they are unable to receive Gods healing or to become prosperous in life. Lack of forgiveness is a cancer that feeds on bottled bitterness, anger and hatred.
Some couples who have experienced child abuse in their earlier life have struggled to become happy later in their lives. They may have considerable wealth, but still they feel a void in their lives that they cannot explain. After much counselling, we have often urged them to identify people in their past against whom they hold grudges. We urged them to forgive these people and, if possible to tell them that they have forgiven them.
The results have been astounding every time. They have often been blessed with material and non-material joy and fulfilment in their lives. They have also found new successes in whatever they are doing. Many found a new release and exhilaration in life. They became more confident in what they do or say as a result of forgiving those who wronged them.
You too can experience this wonderful release and joy if you take steps to forgive those who may have abused you or wronged you in any way. It does not pay to cling onto a grudge. In fact holding onto a grudge has the tendency of binding you and inhibiting you from blessings and success.
Take this matter seriously and forgive people who abused you even if the abuse was deep and painful. One mother we know only discovered that her 11-year old daughter was frequently being raped by her husbands younger brother when the girl was in her twenties. She became so bitter that she became depressed and could neither work nor properly look after her family. After counselling she became a free person and began to love others in the Christian way. Her life has since been transformed for the better. The same can happen to you if you forgive. makumbe60@gmail.com
Post published in: Opinions