I have been married for two years now and my husband and I stay with my in-laws because we have cannot yet afford rent for our own space. I am hoping that next year we find our breakthrough. My problem however is the way my mother-in-law treats me. She never really appreciates anything I do to the extent of cooking or cleaning the house. She has been doing that for the past seven months and sometimes it frustrates me. I have talked to my husband about how it makes me sick but he has done nothing about it. She comes with several complaints about me to my husband, most of which he ignores, fortunately. But sometimes I just feel like confronting her. Please tell me if it’s a good idea? – Mrs P.P
Dear Mrs P.P
Confrontations between mother and daughter-in-law usually turn nasty. You do not want to spoil the good relationship you have with your husband by doing that. If she is on some kind of protest against you, it is good for you it does not seem to be catching your husband’s eye.
Talking to your husband about how you feel about his mother’s attitude towards you was not a bad idea. But do not expect too much from him. This is his mother we are talking about; the woman who gave birth to him and raised him to be the man he is today. It is not easy for him to accept that she is wrong and that you are right. But this is not about who is wrong or right. There is need for two women to accept each other and understand that they are not the only ones important in this man’s life.
You will not lose anything when your mother-in-law does all your duties in some form of “sabotage.” Back off and give the drama queen some floor to perform. Just remember to pick it up when she is done or tired. I promise you she will. If what you do is not good enough for her and she wants to do it herself take that as a blessing rather. Don’t show that it affects you, just show some appreciation. Once she realises that she is fighting a lone battle she will give up.
Concentrate on making your husband happy and strengthening your marriage. Do keep hoping that soon you find your own space because it is not healthy for your relationship to live with them for a long time. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle