No goodwill

Goodwills Masimirembwa is in a legal dispute with employees of the Zimbabwe Institute of Legal Studies over unpaid salaries. Employees have not been paid for a year. Surely $6M can cover these unpaid salaries!

Displaying a bravado that no man in his position should have, Masimirembwa said ‘the situation should look up in the next 90 days… we are running around sourcing money.’ How, by duping another foreign investor?

This reflects Zanu (PF)’s behaviour of impunity. Anybody else with a $6M corruption charge hovering over his neck like a guillotine would not plan life beyond three months. Is he not afraid – like mere mortals – of the possibility of bankruptcy, blacklisting or jail time?

It is as if somebody of influence has told him, ‘Don’t worry. This corruption thing is all just for show. It will blow over.’ In these parts, men accused of selling state secrets still live lavishly.

All that jazz about Dudu

Jazz singer Dudu Manhenga has been handed a two-year jail term for manslaughter. While driving unlicensed, Manhenga collided with a motorcyclist. Social media sites were abuzz with messages of outrage.

Her fans felt the sentence was ‘too harsh.’ As if Dudu had only killed a cat. The law does not care for the mellifluousness of one’s voice. What fans fail to see is that as a result of Manhenga’s actions, a man died. She will bounce back after this setback. People will call her ‘jailbird.’ Which would not be too far off because Manhenga already has the feathers. But Graham Martin is gone.

Play fair boys

Jonathan Moyo has called on state and free media not to be polarised. He cited the South African press where all the newspapers are printed at one centre.

Our media houses each have their own printing press. Moyo’s plea seemed genuine. Until he appointed a known Zanu (PF) praise singer to the post of editor at Zimpapers. This is a sign that nothing will change. About a single printing centre, Moyo conveniently forgets that in SA, the government is not meddling with private media operations.

Another sign of continuity is that chief correspondent, Rrrrreuben Barwe, will remain at the ZBC, despite reaching retirement age (60). In 26 years of reporting, we have never heard him ask probing questions, like a journalist attempting to find the truth. Barwe denies allegations of bias, preferring the term ‘patriotic.’ Combined, Barwe and Mugabe, are 150 years old. Rrrrridiculous!

A nation of molesters

Since January, 2,400 children under 18 have been raped. That’s 266 per month or 9 per day. Tonight, by the time you brush your teeth and get into bed, 9 Zimbabwean children will have been raped. Well done Zimbabwean men. You make us proud.

The justice system isn’t helping either. Two men who stole $10,000 worth of Zesa cables have each been given 21 years in jail. Also, a 21-year-old man who groped a 9-year-old girl before silencing her with a freezit – yes, a penny cool – has only been given only 8 months. Meaning Zesa cables are more important than children.

Not so graceful

Grace Mugabe publicly announced that $35,000-dollar bride, 15-cow muroora, Bona Mugabe is still a virgin. Grace was speaking to squash the rumour that Bona had been drugged and violated at a party. She publicly stated – underscore publicly – that she told her daughter not to allow her boyfriend to even touch her breast. Shhh, not in front of company mum.

Murambatsvina II

Police torched the homes of families who had settled on a farm in Mapinga. What does the ZRP motto say? ‘Pro lege, pro patria, pro populo.’ For the law, for the nation, for the people. For the people? What people approve of making the vulnerable members of society homeless just before the rainy season!

Looting thwarted

Police stopped Zanu (PF) politburo member George Rutanhira from invading a farm belonging to a white landowner, Guy Dollar.

Travelling along major highways, one sees stretches of fields choked with grass and shrubs. If the comrade wanted a farm, why does he not take one of those that belong to some lazy weekend farmer? Dollar employs 450 people.

If Zimbabwe is ever going to feed itself, we must forget about skin colour and let professionals get on with the business of farming.

Vip – very irate person

A lot has been said in the last week about Simbarashe Mumbegegwi’s ‘ill-treatment’ at an American airport. Mumbegegwi was made to stand in the queue with other living humans at JFK. Airport officials claimed they had not been told to accord him VIP treatment.

‘Sir please can I see your passport. Legs apart, please. I’m going to have to search you now. Can we get some sniffer-dogs here, please? Sir, please step through the metal detector a third time. Is that a concealed weapon, sir?’

One can almost picture a livid Mumbengegwi screaming ‘Do you know who I am!’ The US may be guilty of an administrative oversight, rudeness at most, but to call it ‘ill-treatment’ is a gross exaggeration. All airport passengers experience the same amount of scrutiny before boarding planes. ‘Thank you for your cooperation sir. Have a pleasant flight.’ – Till next week. My pen is capped. Feeback: [email protected]

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