Torn in two

Dear Aunty Lisa

I’m caught in between my sis; I’m in a love quagmire. I dated a man for two years and we were so committed to each other until he went to America where his sister is based.

We lost communication for six months and I moved on. I’m currently seeing a certain guy who I have dated for nine months now. He is the kind of man who will do anything for a woman he loves and I have been committed to him with all my heart.

My biggest problem now is that the American guy is back and back with a bang, he has visited me at my parents’ place and explained himself on why he failed to communicate. We never broke up and my heart loves him so much despite the fact that I thought I had moved on.

My heart really wants to be with my first boyfriend but I just don’t know how I can handle this without hurting anyone’s feelings. The guy that I have been dating now doesn’t even know about my previous love life, the last time he asked about it I remember just telling him that I would rather not talk about it because I thought I just wanted to forget about it all. Which man should I drop and which should I give my heart to? – Molly

Dear Molly

You just need to be honest with yourself before being honest with your boyfriends. You know you can’t date or love them both at the same time; it’s a disgrace to womankind. You don’t want to break these two men’s hearts and leave them thinking that women are unfaithful.

You are not to blame for this situation. It was not your fault that your boyfriend failed to communicate for a year before you decided to move on. The only blunder you made was not telling your current boyfriend of your past relationship and how it ended. If you had he would probably not be as shocked as he will be when you break the news of another man who has his girlfriend’s heart.

I cannot tell you which man you should choose – as if there is some scale to measure men’s worth. From the little you have said, I believe they are both good loving men who deserve to be loved, but it depends on whom you really want to be with. No matter who you choose, that man needs to know about the other one.

If you chose to continue with your returning boyfriend then sit down with him and let him know that you have been dating someone believing that it was over between the two of you.

If you are to continue with the man you met nine months ago, then explain your past to him. He needs to know that your “ex” still believes you are his girlfriend. Either way you need to be clear in your mind so that you can assure the man your choose that he is the ONLY one you want to be with. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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