Chikurubi khakhis

‘Guards, arrest that man!’ Mugabe might not have said those exact words but when the presidential finger points you out as a thief, 13Million voters expect to see you in leg-irons and Chikurubi khakis.

In January, speculation about Mugabe’s health reached epidemic proportions. Mugabe’s inability to act on corruption will lead sceptics to question whether he really is physically and mentally up to the task of leading.

We have regressed to a state of anarchy. Jungle law prevails. But even the jungle has order. In the misty Congo rainforest, when the little gorillas misbehave, the alpha male quickly steps in, growling and snapping tree branches, to bring his underlings back in line. The big gorilla only withdraws when he is unwell or has a thorn in his paw. Any slight sign of weakness causes lawlessness among the troops.

Junior males will challenge his position and pounce on his harem. In the jungle, even a missing tooth is interpreted as weakness. That fact is not lost on the erudite Mugabe, which explains why, in 34 years, he has never sneezed in public. The fear of showing weakness explains Mugabe’s recent withdrawal from public. Rather than bearing his teeth and beating his chest, Mugabe has instead elected to attend a forum on disabilities in Malawi.

Mugabe’s sudden keenness in disability matters is strange, for a country where the majority of children with disabilities are deprived of school and the disability grant is a mere $20 (compare South Africa’s R1000 a month). It is also peculiar that Simbarashe Mumbengegwi of foreign affairs (and not Nicholas Goche of community development) has attended the summit. It is irresponsible for the president to spew empty rhetoric about his ‘dismay’ and then jet off, at a time when he should have really shown his disapproval on corruption.- Till next week, my pen is capped. Jerà

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