Serving a great nation as a minister

The ingratitude of some fellow citizens has forced me to put pen to paper. Since the last bullet was shot in the Second Chimurenga, signalling the end of the protracted armed war of independence, I have always busied myself with matters of the state, depriving myself of quality family time.

For 34 solid years, I have been ministering to my fellow citizens to bring them the milk and honey we fought for and truly deserve. Due to my efforts and the support of my colleagues in government, we are Africa’s most literate nation. If you don’t take it on from there and become rich, you certainly cannot blame us. Don’t they say knowledge is power?

Our health sector is second to none in Africa, no matter what you read about our citizens going to Mandela’s country for the slightest of body itches. These people are so unpatriotic, they let us down. They give Mandela’s memory an iconic presence he does not deserve. You know – that guy did nothing for his people and country. They remain largely uneducated and poor.


Why our people even go to South African for medical treatment beats me. Even their industries run on the sweat of our people. Only we, the top brass of the ruling party, should spare scarce foreign currency to seek specialised medical help in far off lands. Our country owes it to us. After all, we liberated it.

People tend to forget easily. I just don’t know why this is so. We risked being sanctioned by our former colonial masters and their allies in order to bring back the large farms that our people now own. No Zimbabwean is without land. We are the only country in Africa to have achieved this feat and that certainly satisfies us. We are a young country but a very bold one.

Smart sanctions

But we have some amongst us who rushed to the Americans not for money or any positive assistance, but for economic sanctions of all things. These fellow nationals amaze me. They even tried to term the sanctions “smart”. Aah, come on people, you beg for smart sanctions against your fellow citizens and your heroes! Where has patriotism gone?

So you see, from there on, we have been seized with the business of rescuing the country from this evil demon called sanctions. None of us can resign or retire. We cannot leave the country in the hands of traitors who want to hand over the country back to the imperialists. No, no; that is a luxury we cannot afford. We went through mud and crud to get where we are today. You see, some of us died for this country. What kind of betrayal would that be to hand it over back to the imperialists?

Very dull

With the sanctions came a western sponsored political party masquerading as champions of democracy. These guys must be very dull. They came with their demands for free and fair elections, a level playing field and a spruced up voters’ roll. It makes me laugh at times. They think they can win this country with an ‘X’ on the ballot paper.

Hahaha…… these guys are fools. They think we would allow that? So that they can return the country to the colonisers? Our president is on record as telling the entire world that Zimbabwe will never be a colony again. You would think that they hear, but clearly they do not listen. How then can we trust them with matters of the state? This Morgan Tsvangirai chap is no good. He tells our people he can free them. How many times must a people be freed? He is too late because we have freed them already. But he is also a coward. He complains of violence each time we discipline a few of his cadres. Does he think we got this country without spilling blood? Yakauya neropa nyika iyi! Sometimes I think he must wizen up a bit. If not complaining about violence, they talk of corruption. We did not invent corruption; we just indigenised it. What’s wrong with appointing my relatives, friends or even our in-laws to the boards of parastatals under one’s ministry?

The other ministers do the same. We are safeguarding our sovereignty, or aren’t we? These opposition guys just love to talk. They complain even when we empower our own people. That’s rank madness. Who else should we empower? After all, isn’t this how a casino economy runs?

Where must we go?

They lose it when they say the president and most of us in his cabinet must go. Go where? We freed this country and we have served it loyally since independence, so where must we go? All we have is here; surely we cannot be expected to go live elsewhere. You see when I say these opposition guys have no scope? They just want us to go without realising that we are the liberators of this great madzimbabwe. Some have the temerity to ask us about the source of our wealth. What cheek! What are nine farms to a man who has been a cabinet minister for 34 years? So what if I own a bank, plush homes wherever I want and so on and so forth? You want these in the hands of our enemies, not us? How ungrateful! We have sacrificed our family lives to serve you and now you begrudge us a few farms? Wake up guys to the reality that we liberated you and you owe us what little you have. You are eternally indebted to us.

So, as you can see, until the momentous challenges facing our country are removed, we cannot resign or retire. We are men of steel. Amadoda sibili! We cannot abdicate our responsibilities for something called retirement. Zimbabwe will never be a colony again.

We are here to just make sure that mantra is maintained and upheld. Next time I hear someone talking of corruption or anything similar, I will just go to my farm and check on how my happy workers are enjoying their independence under us, their liberators. Aluta continua! Pamberi nekutonga!

Post published in: Opinions & Analysis
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