Tell the truth

My four-year-old daughter always falls sick when I travel. She complains of headaches and stomach aches each time I am not there but seems to get better with my presence.

I have always tried to telling her that I am visiting grandmother and will be coming back in a few hours to avoid her from crying when I travel for a few days. But the following day or two the father takes her to the doctor. Any idea what may be causing this? – Mai Tinodaishe

Dear Mai Tinodaishe

It sounds funny to say a four-year-old is suffering from anxiety, but those are the signs. Your daughter is worried about your absence and you have contributed to this anxiety by not telling her the truth. This is a mere child yes, but there is a tendency in adults taking their kids’ reasoning for granted.

Young as she is, she knows that visiting gogo does not take you days and when it does there must be something wrong. Her little mind worries “Is my mum ever going to come back?” You need to be open with your girl, let her be in the picture with your movements and yes she may cry knowing that you will be away for some days – but she will cry less next time because she will know that you will come back after all.

The good thing about these little ones is that their sorrow only last a few minutes and they quickly deal with their situations and adapt knowing that all will be normal again. Try that the next time you travel and you may be surprised to hear no more of headaches and stomach pains. – Aunty Lisa