They told me so

I am a 27-year-old man who has been married for three months now. Prior to my marriage my family had discouraged me from marrying my wife saying they don’t think she has good manners. It was simply because she visited them wearing trousers – so I brushed their reason aside. My sisters had insisted she was never one of the well-behaved girls at school after attending Girls High School together with her. My brother pleaded me not to marry without my parents’ blessing but I went ahead. I am no longer talking with my family since I married her.

The problem now is that she is revealing her true colours. Since we were married she disrespects me, comes back home late and chats on the phone with some friends until late. We hardly discuss as a couple. I am now lost without her and without my family.

I don’t have the words to tell my family of what is happening in my marriage. They will obviously have their last laugh and tell me they told me so. I am now becoming lonely and stressed. I want to leave her but my family will obviously know something went wrong. What can I do? – R.T.T

Dear R.T.T

What you are doing is protecting your pride at the expense of your own happiness. Your family will obviously say they told you so in your face or behind your back – but so what? Swallow your pride. Accept that you made a mistake – if you really did – and admit that in front of your family.

But please try talking to your wife to change her bad habits and see if you can work things out between the two of you. Divorce is not always the option to a bad relationship. Try to talk things through and see where it leads you.

Your wife may have been a bad person with a nasty past, but she may have behaved that way because of circumstances that forced her. Loving someone and making her feel special can change someone’s life in an amazing way. Try to understand her and love her. You may be surprised to see her changing. – Gracey