I am a 19-year-old boy who was raised by a stepmother since the age of three when my parents divorced. My mother never really gave me any of the motherly love and care that I got from my step-mother.
She remarried and had three kids. I have a good relationship with my half-sisters and get to hang out a lot. My mother never seemed to want her husband to know that I existed. I passed my ‘A’ Levels and I am about to choose a University to go.
My step-mother’s sisters are organising that I stay with them in Namibia for my studies but my mother is now saying no. She doesn’t want me to go far away, yet all my life I have been close to her. I get so angry and sometimes I just feel like going there to confront her but something tells me I will be too angry to talk to her.
She is forcing me to choose sides here; will I be wrong to go with my step-mother’s side? – Teen Boy
Dear Teen Boy
I am sorry about the situation you have found yourself in. I understand it can be psychologically wrecking to be forced to choose between two people you love. But it is not about taking sides here, it is about making a decision you feel is right and best for you and your future.
Your mother may be feeling insecure that your step-mother is being so nice to you that you will end up disowning her as your biological mother. That is normal.
Do not choose to go to Namibia to show your mother that it is your step-mother you prefer to listen to, but because that is what you need to do to further your education. You need to explain to your mother that you will always love and respect her but that you are old enough to make your own decision when it comes to choosing which university to attend.
Your mother was wrong in distancing you from her life for the past years and I understand your anger that she is now trying to hold on to you when it seems too late. But we all make mistakes and deserve to be forgiven and given a second chance in life.
Explain your anger and hurt to her, and then forgive her and move on with the next exciting phase of your life. She is your biological mother, so you need to give her a space in your life, as well as appreciating your loving step-mother who raised you. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle