Is this equality?

I am a man aged 35 and I am married to a woman of the same age. I work so hard to provide for my family and my wife does not go to work. My job is very physically demanding and most of the time I come home tired hoping to relax and spend time with my family. My wife makes that difficult for me. She demands that we share duties at home such as cooking, laundry and playing with our kids. I don’t find it fair because when I go to work I don’t ask her to pay half of the family’s bills and needs. Is this the idea of equal rights women in Zimbabwe are clamouring for? I no longer understand. – Baba Tee

Dear Baba Tee

Your wife is getting it all wrong. Having equal rights is not about sharing duties at home. I believe it should be about respect for one another as human beings and acknowledgement of each other’s roles in a family. If she was equally working I could understand her position. But as she is at home it makes much sense for her to do most of the housework. She needs to understand that equality is not about sharing duties but about understanding each other’s positions and jobs. I would not see anything wrong with you doing all the cooking and laundry if she was the one with a physically demanding job and you were unemployed. Relationships and marriages are all about building a convenient partnership. Working together and understanding each other is important.

But I would not regard playing with your kids as a “duty”. It is your role as a parent to spend time with your children. They need that quality time with you no matter how busy you are. – Aunty Lisa