I have been married for a year now and I am having problems with my wife. She does not like the idea of me buying groceries or anything for my parents. The moment I start talking about buying groceries for my parents she tries to insist that I buy the same stuff for her family as well. I do not mind taking care of her family but she needs to understand that my salary is not enough to feed all three families. She insists that if I can allow her to go to work then she can take care of her own. I prefer her to be a housewife rather than a working woman because a lot happens in the workplaces and I don’t think she will be able to handle it. Will it be untrustworthy if I start buying my parents things secretly? – Daddy Tray
Dear Daddy Tray
Your wife loves her parents and you should not think that she is being unreasonable when she requests that you take care for both families. Of course you are not liable for their upkeep and taking care of them should come as a voluntary measure driven by your sense of appreciation for raising you a loving wife.
As much as your wife needs to appreciate that your salary is not enough to take care for both families including your own, as you say, you do need to consider her requests to help. I find your reason to deny her a chance to go out to work very lame.
It is a recipe for disaster in marriage to compare your wife with other women in society. It is bad to prejudge someone without giving them a chance to prove who they are in different situations. You need to trust your wife and appreciate that she wants to contribute towards the upkeep of the families. It is frustrating for her that she is willing to work and take care of her parents and while you won’t allow her, you will not provide for them yourself. Learn to trust your wife and give her a chance to appreciate her own parents just like you are doing. And yes it would be very wrong, and bad for your marriage, to start doing things in secret. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle