Dear Aunty Lisa
I am a girl aged 22 and my boyfriend just got me pregnant. Now he does not want anything to do with me, he blames me for the whole pregnancy issue as if I made myself like this. I am so confused and I don’t know what to do n. I told my mother about it and she has been very supportive and tells me not to do anything silly. She hopes he will change his mind, but he has made everything clear that he does not want to hear anything about me or this baby. What do I do? – Silly Girl
Dear Silly Girl
First thing, I don’t want you calling yourself silly. Yes you made a bad mistake – but everyone else makes mistakes in life. What you need to do now is learn from that mistake and live to correct it. It is how we react and respond to our mistakes that makes us wise or foolish people.
Realizing the mistake you have made is an important step – now you need to try to correct it. You can correct it by having that baby and making sure that you don’t involve yourself again with a man who is not serious about you. You are very lucky to have such a loving and supportive mother. Some mothers chase their girls away after they fall pregnant. You can live your life alone as a single mother and look after your child. Your boyfriend is going through a tough time accepting the reality of things which he may have not prepared himself for. He will come around.
But if he does not, that doesn’t make your unborn child less human. You can raise him or her with love and he will grow up a brilliant kid that will love and respect his or her mother. That unborn child, who did not ask to be born, is the most important thing in your life right now. – Aunty Lisa
He hates me
Dear Aunty Lisa
I am 15 years old and the man my mother is seeing always treats me harshly, chasing me out of the house when he comes to visit. Each time he finds me watching t.v he asks rudely if I don’t have any schoolwork to do. I understand it is every adult’s character to want to try and supervise any school kid – but the way he does it is not with love or out of love. I admit I have been rude in telling him that he is not my father, but what can I do when he is trying to push me away from my mother? -Danny
Dear Danny
Oh my dear I am sorry for you watching your mother being ‘taken’ away from you. You, your mother and her boyfriend are going through a tough time. There is need for the three of you to love each other without trying to divide one another. You both seem to be fighting for the woman in your lives without being willing to accept each other. You seem to be a mature young man who will be able to convince a man that you are responsible and trustworthy. Find time to sit down with him and talk man to man. He needs to accept you as his girlfriend’s son and a possible step-son. At the same time you need to realise that you will not always be the only man in your mother’s life. You both need to get along for the sake of your mother’s happiness. I know that is what you want for your mother. Aunty Lisa
Can’t get a job
Dear Aunty Lisa
I will be turning 30 in three weeks. I am so stressed with how I am failing to get a job. I graduated from university two years ago and the way there is unemployment in my country breaks my heart. I used to hear about it growing up when a lot was being said about unemployment. It is now haunting me. I am well educated, yet I cannot get employment. I find it torture to have to accept any job like cleaning with a degree in my cabinet. How can you connect me to get a job please? – Sarah
Dear Sarah
I totally understand how you feel. I know of several people in the same situation. I have come to believe that we don’t get anywhere by giving excuses and crying about situations that do not look as though they will change any time soon. I encourage you to look for ways in which you can create employment and help others in your situation. There is nothing to stop you from starting your own company. Think of an area you are strong in and work towards building a project or company that can provide services to people. Don’t let this situation make you think you are not capable of doing anything. Rise and shine beyond the limits. – Aunty Lisa
Thank you!
Dear Aunty Lisa
Thank you for your advice. I wrote to you some time back. We were not getting along with my sisters in law who were always bossy and disrespectful. I followed what you said in your reply and they have changed since. They respect me and appreciate the fact that my husband and I are taking care of them. I really came to appreciate how important it is to communicate my feelings. They had no idea how upset I was with their behaviour and they thought they were just pulling my leg. Now they at least know what kind of person I am. Thank you. It is because of that that I no longer miss reading about other people’s problems and how interestingly you respond to them. – Queen
Post published in: Lifestyle