Don’t risk it

Dear Aunty Lisa

I have been married for two years now and my husband and I stay with my in-laws because we have not been financially stable to afford rent for our own space. I am hoping that next year we find our breakthrough. My problem however is the way my mother-in-law treats me. She never really appreciates anything I do to the extent of cooking or cleaning the house.

She has been doing that for the past seven months and sometimes it frustrates me. I have talked to my husband about how it makes me feel but he has done nothing about it. She comes with several complaints about me to my husband, most of which he ignores fortunately. But sometimes I just feel like confronting her. Please tell me if it’s a good idea? – Petty P

Dear Petty P

Confrontations between mother and daughter in law usually turn nasty. You do not want to spoil the good relationship you have with your husband by doing that. If she is on some kind of protest against you, just be grateful it does not seem to be catching your husband’s eye.

Talking to your husband about how you feel about his mother’s attitude towards you was not a bad idea. But do not expect too much from him. This is his mother we are talking about; the woman who gave birth to him and raised him to be the man he is today. It is not easy for him to accept that she is wrong and that you are right. But this is not about who is wrong or right though. There is need for two women to accept each other in their lives and understand that they are not the only ones important in this man’s life.

You will not lose anything when your mother-in-law does all your duties in some form of “sabotage.” Back off and give the drama queen some floor to perform. Just remember to pick it up when she is done or tired. I promise you she will. If what you do is not good enough for her and she wants to do it herself take that as a blessing rather. Don’t show that it affects you in a way, just show some appreciation that she is doing what you could have been doing as the daughter-in-law. Once she realises that she is fighting a lone battle she will give up.

Concentrate on making your husband happy and strengthening your marriage. Do keep hoping that soon you find your own space because it is not ‘healthy’ for you relationship to live with them for a long time. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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