He’s a Casanova

Dear Aunty Lisa

I am a young man aged 25 and I am finding it hard to accept my sister’s decision to marry my friend. They have been going out for a while now but I only found out last month when she told me. I have known my friend since High School and he has been a Casanova from school despite him claiming to have changed since late last year, when he told me he had finally met someone he truly loves. Now I find out he was referring to my sister.

He claims it was not easy telling me about it and they had decided to keep it a secret from me until last month. I am against the whole idea of the marriage in December. I don’t trust my friend, and even though he has changed I believe someone with bad habits will find his way back to them at one point. I don’t want my sister to be left heartbroken at some stage.

She is my twin sister and we have been close since childhood. I am not even sure if marrying someone of the same age is even a good idea for her. What do I do to convince her against it? – J.J

Dear J.J

I think you need to let go here. I understand how close you have been with your sister and how you love her dearly – but there comes a time you will have to leave her to make her own decisions. Unfortunately that time has come sooner than you expected. You are being a good and loving twin brother who wants to protect his sibling. But she needs to know that while her brother loves her, he also trusts that she will make good decisions about her life.

Knowing the history of your friend who wants to marry your sister is the biggest challenge you have. When you look at him, you don’t see a changed and responsible grown-up, but that childish Casanova you have always known. People do change. Although some of them do go back to their previous ways, it is not all who do that. Your friend says he has found true love and it has made him a different person. This means that with your sister’s love he is bound to remain the well-mannered gentleman he has transformed into.

You need to be happy for both your friend and sister. I guess all you can do now is pray that the few months that are left before they get married will be a period of real self-discovery for both of them. Pray that they see the bigger picture to the next step they want to take and that God will be their guide in making that final decision. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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