I’m not a crybaby

Dear Aunty Lisa

I am being frustrated at my workplace; I am the only woman in my department with three men. One of the guys is our boss and he is always sharing jokes with the other boys, which I don’t have problems with. My problem comes when my work is sabotaged ahead of the boys’.

Our boss is always criticising me with the others seemingly celebrating what appears that time my downfall. I sometimes cry my heart out in the restrooms. I get the feeling that I am not wanted and it is not a nice one. I have tried engaging the manager but they just see it as if I am being a crybaby. Most of the times my boss shouts at me in front of everyone – something he does not to with the boys. – Faffy

Dear Faffy

I know you are hurting my dear, but one thing I have to tell you that you may not want to hear is that the workplace is no area for a sissy here in Africa. I am not saying you are weak by crying. You are very normal and I am sure I would do the same thrown in your situation. But my point is, the workplace in this part of the world is not that friendly for women.

We face a lot of spanners thrown in our way and it is unfortunate that our focus gets diverted and we have to work twice as hard as men to achieve similar success.

Half the time we are trying to get the spanners out of our way – rather that doing what makes us successful, while the men are just concentrating on their work alone.

It is time we realised that the spanners thrown at us are meant to distract us; once we know that then we won’t let them. You need to just ignore them and concentrate on your work, or sometimes you can tell the person throwing them that you are aware what he is doing and you will keep dodging them. There is an argument that women are not successful in the public sector because we get worried about petty issues and let them distract us.

I want you to be strong, tell yourself you are aware you are not liked and that it is all right because when you applied for that job you did not apply to be liked.

Do what you came there to do and whenever your boss or anyone shouts at you, keep calm and say nothing. Later on when the dust has settled you present your case and tell your boss calmly why you think he was unfair to you.

He jokes with the other boys because they probably relate as boys, of course they may be doing it to show you that you are not in the team, but that should not worry you. Ignore it and concentrate on what you came there to do. I can assure you if you do exactly that they will soon back off and see that their tactics don’t work with you. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle
  1. Sissi Monica

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