Mama’s boy

Dear Aunty Lisa

I am a young boy aged 15 and my single mother raised me after my father passed away a few months after I was born. My mother has not thought of remarrying from the look of things. She is just 37 and she was 22 when she had me. I grew up with her telling me that my father left her at a time she needed him most. She speaks so highly of him as someone who showed her true love after some terrible heartbreaks.

It appears she has given up on love, but my issue here is that will I grow up to be a well-groomed man without a father figure in my life? My friends always talk of what they do with their Dads and what they have been telling them about life. Some of the things I have been told by my mum, but I can’t tell them that ‘my mum said.’ They will simply take me as a mama’s boy.

I love my mother and I really want her to be happy. I will always make her smile but I don’t know if it makes sense for me to say she needs someone to grow old with because I will not want to leave her lonely when I start my own family later in life. Is it my place to go hunt for a father figure for myself who will be part of my mother’s life? – T.J

Dear T.J

I understand your concern – but you need to get to understand your mother more, get to know if she has plans to remarry or if she is happy without a man in her life. It can be easy to talk to her if you are as close as I want to believe you are.

Yes you are right, she may be currently happy with you in her life –you are her light and you probably bring her all the memories of your father if you resemble him in any way. But when time comes to start your own life, she will be miserable if she does not have a life of her own.

However it is not up to you to find a husband for your mother. All you can do is encourage her to be open to opportunities that may come into her life. She is still young and there is plenty of time.

Your mother has always been there for you, you have grown into a boy who is mature than his age and she has done that alone. She has told you about life issues that you heard your friends say their fathers told them. This means she has been your father as well and I am sure it has not been easy for her.

You seem to be in need of a father figure simply because you want to say something to your friends to avoid being labelled a mama’s boy, but the reality is you love your mother and you appreciate her. Don’t let the outside world dictate how you should live your life. So what if you are a mama’s boy? At your age, yes it may be an embarrassment but I want you to be proud of it and give them a new definition and version of a mama’s boy who is strong, mature and loving – just as your mother is.

Be proud of who you are and you will see other mama’s boys proudly coming out to declare that they stand with you. There is nothing to be ashamed about your situation, your father is up in heaven watching over you and I bet he is proud to see you blooming to keep smiles on your mother’s face. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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