No future without her

I am a man aged 42, I lost my wife a year ago. She was a childhood friend who I turned into my girlfriend in our teenage years and I later married her. We had only been married for five years, we had two adorable kids together and now she has left. Life has not been easy for me. She is all I ever knew as a true friend. I am finding it hard to be myself again and to start working and planning my future, it seems there is no future without her.

I am always preferring to be alone and avoiding people and I can see they don’t understand me. They understand I have been hurt but they just don’t understand how much. I am finding it difficult to appreciate life without my wife and friend. I am writing to you as a desperate way of searching for a listening ear. Please talk to me. – Josh

Dear Josh

I am terribly sorry about your loss. Losing someone that close to your heart is never easy to deal with and I can only imagine the devastation of what you are going through. You need to seek some professional help because you are in a depression phase that is not good for you and your children.

Island Hospice offers support groups for different categories of bereaved people. I strongly suggest you contact them at 6 Natal Road, Belgravia, Tel 701676-7.

I am proud of you for your courage in writing to us and communicating your worries and pain, that is one courageous thing you have done and you need to do it more often – with me or anyone who cares to listen. It is not bad to talk about your late wife, don’t be embarrassed to tell the next person how much you loved her and how desperately you miss her. Most of all, do not be ashamed to cry.

Yes you are a man, but men are human beings with feelings of love and pain when they lose someone dear to their hearts. You need to commit yourself to being strong for your children. Why not make that your 2015 resolution.

Your wife left you with something special, a gift that you will always remember her for. It is time to cherish that. I know it is very difficult to continue living life when there is no-one by your side to share your dreams and plans with. You had plans with your wife, you had dreams with her, now it is time to see yourself through those plans, live those dreams and make her proud.

Most importantly raise your children the very way you had planned and promised each other you would raise them. I promise you, she will look down on you smiling, proud of your achievements and praying to God to watch over you and her family.

Pick yourself up and make yourself a promise that you will be the man you wanted her to see in you. – Aunty Lisa